They’ve Found Us… Their Scanners are Way Better Than Ours

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So the other day one of the search terms used to find Dracoblag was “Lonely Wolf Treat“. The best part of the stats page is getting to find out how people stumbled upon you and Draco can be pretty proud of being lumped in with great content such as that. It’s a real treat.  It is however a shame that some people get here via Bing. Draco doesn’t blame you; not everyone has access to better search engines. Draco just hopes you get a better one soon!.

All of NomnomNami‘s games are great and you should go get them after this.

It’s also Treat’s birthday today! Happy Birthday! Draco clearly planned to hit publish today and wasn’t procrastinating at all! Draco is so good at planning. Some would say the best at planning.

 

So Draco was drawing again and it seems like a good idea to share that type of stuff with you lovely readers you. If you don’t put your work out there you punish yourself and the denizens of the story you want to tell. Sadly Draco’s scanner is bad and doing everything digitally is hard without a fancy drawing tablet thing. Complaining helps a little… Lucky for us all Photoshop is Photoshop and Draco was able to get them into a passable state. Prepare your eyes!

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Dracoooooooooo with a flaming sword of justice! The scanner made you a one winged angel.❤

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Some sort of animal. Wook at that wittle serious face!❤

Update: Draco’s Mom saw this and told Draco to fix it. It was fixed.

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Egg Royalty!

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Mallory Reynolds and her mustachioed friend Mr. Spiky! Some day your story will be told but this is something at least…

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When making this post, animal of unknown name popped up again! We will probably never know why but we should just let it be. This animal could be dangerous. This animal lost the line that defined their stomach… Thank you scanner… That’s great…

 

 

 

 

 

Sun Has Blocked You From Viewing Their Profile and Refreshing

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Sunblock

It’s the sun being blocked. Sunblock. Ahahahahahahaha!

The moral question of waiting a day till the sun is risen and actually blocking the sun out with a block or spending exactly 3 minutes in Photoshop came up today. Guess which one Draco picked.

So Draco keeps seeing this ad for a new sunblock from Proactive. The word they use to describe it is “refreshing”. Does that sound weird to anyone else? ” That sunblock really refreshed me” doesn’t seem like something people would say. “This sunblock was really ‘sunblock-er-y'” maybe. “Long-lasting”, “won’t stain your clothes”, “grants fire immunity” all seem like better choices than “refreshing”. As far as Draco knows people don’t go out and get sunblock for the experience. Usually saying “this is sunblock” is enough to sell sunblock. If you REALLY want to sell sunblock mention a high SPF and talk about the application method.  Oh and don’t forget the good-looking people in swim suits. Now that you understand advertising please send Draco 20,000 currency for this college level course*.

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Moonlight is just a reflection of sunlight. If we covered the moon in sunblock we could make it invisible. Science yo. 

 

* Please don’t actually send any money at this time. How you got Draco’s address is worrying enough. 

Caught Red Handed and Fake Blood

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So this is an afterthought but if you have a fear of blood just skip this post. It’s not blood but it looks like it so that could be a problem for you. Here at Dracoblag we don’t want anyone to be negatively effected.

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Sunrider Chibi are best chibi

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Draco was trying to do a photo, the image was clear and the execution seemed simple. Today Draco learned an important fact. Food coloring will stain your skin. There is a reason fake blood exists and apparently that is the reason. Actually it’s hard to believe that putting something like that on your body wouldn’t at least partially stain it. They must dilute it or something. Draco doesn’t claim to understand fake blood or how it works but it probably comes off easier than food coloring.

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This was after about 30 minutes of scrubbing

Anyway, check it out.

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Now you blood splatter analysts out there must be pulling your hair out but keep in mind that Draco just couldn’t be bothered to do that accurately. Also it would have probably required some finagling which would have ended up looking really creepy. Draco needs to sleep at night you know!

For those of you who are Photoshop fan, here is a tutorial on making fake blood via Photoshop! Don’t be like Draco and stain your hands!

 

 

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The Wonders of Electricity and Labronbrium Powers You!

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The following post is brought to you by Labronbrium! A new fuel source that will replace electricity in a matter of years!

 

So Draco was watching Dimension W which is an anime currently airing on Toonami. Its set in the future and it remind Draco of a major pet peeve with sci-fi and beyond. This problem is not at its worst in Dimension W, they make up for it with other things. The following will be more about generic less popular series. It exists in big name series but we’re going for a general overview.

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So it’s the future and magically in the future they find some new power source that is the best dang power source in the world. It powers your car, your house, your children, your dog, your gardener, your potatoes, basically everything.  That’s all well and good but then for some reason it’s literally all they talk about. It’s great that they have this stuff but think about real life. When is the last time you talked about the wonders of electricity in casual conversation with a friend? These are shallow attempts to dump exposition and differentiate the world from the real world. All it really does though is take up valuable dialogue space with cheesy almost product placement like imaginary battery talk. If you’re writing sci-fi or anything and want to tell everyone about some magic energy, either show (as in show don’t tell) the tech in action or bite the bullet and say it once or twice… unless they just discovered the technology. Draco still remembers a time when cell phones hadn’t dropped the “cell” and electric toothbrushes hadn’t dropped the “electric”. It’s overuse that makes this annoying. If electricity just came out and Draco was talking to some friends maybe Draco would talk about an electric lamp or whatever but then other matters like horse grooming, arranged marriages,  and sword fighting must be discussed. Don’t let the lamp take up your characters’ lives, sci-fi writers!

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Labronbrium isn’t real by the way. It probably should have been obvious from the theme of the post but it should really be made clear. Also no one sponsors us even though they totally should!

Hummingbirds and The Illuminati

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First of all Draco took  cool pictures of a hummingbird. Before we talk about anything let’s look at this hummingbird.

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So Draco was desperately searching for more ideas to write about and that obviously entails watching YouTube videos and not thinking about writing at all. In that little recommended section General YouTube recommended some silly little conspiracy videos. 3/4 of them were about cartoon characters secretly being dead and the other was about a skeleton who was supposed to be a different character when they were alive. Draco observed the pattern and realized you can make that claim about basically anything. Is your refrigerator running? Well guess what, it’s running from the fact that it’s dead.  Draco was going to follow this trend and make some outlandish conspiracy theories about how all your favorite characters are dead but then this happened.

John Oliver does a video about conspiracies the day before Draco was going to make a post about conspiracies! Admittedly he went after the more realistic ones whereas Draco was going to go for stuff like “the main characters from My Little Pony will ultimately form a pentagram and sacrifice the minor characters in order to resurrect Zeromus” but it’s still way too convenient. It’s almost like he read Draco’s mind… Just like the Illuminati does to all of us!

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This is a tiny picture of John Oliver.

Now watch as it’s flipped upside-down.

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The Illuminati…

In the video above, Oliver uses the phrase “open your eyes!” multiple times. Does he mean your eyes… or THE eye?

In earlier episodes of his series Last Week Tonight, THREE episodes, aka triangle episodes, were centered around Space Geckos in Space™.   If you look up more conspiracy videos you’ll easily find videos about lizard aliens controlling the world. Who controls the world? The Illuminati. What are Geckos? Basically lizards. What does this mean? Illuminati = Geckos.

Still not convinced? How about now?

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Is there any point to this? No. But at least you’re informed now.

Have another hummingbird as a reward.

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Admittedly this ended up as the featured image so you already saw this one but it’s still cute.❤

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Answering Life’s Greatest Questions Sorta and Writer’s Block

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So Draco’s been suffering from writer’s block along with Stardew Valley and Photoshopping.  After Draco asked for suggestions Draco got some advice. “Don’t be like me” really didn’t help, “cake break” is an idea but Draco doesn’t have any cake, and the third one had potential. It was more for writing stories but we can make this work. Myths are for answering questions and Draco shall treat this like a Q & A. Now enjoy Draco telling you some stuff(Almost none of it will be true)!

1. Explain why the sun rises and sets.

The sun has been feeling really self-conscious. It dedicated itself to the art of working out and will someday be less circular.

2. Explain why the leaves change colour.

The leaves have always waited for their golden opportunity. Every year they fall by the score but soon they shall make humanity fall. Be wary of the leaves for they are masters of camouflage!

3. Explain why the sky is blue.

We don’t see UV light. The sky is purple. Just because we can’t see that it’s purpler doesn’t make it not purple.

4. Explain why we are born and why we die.

When Draco bought the Sims: Reality Edition, all of Draco’s friends scoffed and said it was a game for girls. Draco ignored them and now you all exist. Clap clap clap.

5. Explain why grass is green.

We don’t see UV light. The grass is purple-ish. Just because we can’t see that it’s purpler doesn’t make it not purple. Also apparently it’s greener on the other side.

6. Explain where human beings came from.

Their mothers.

7. Explain why birds fly and fish swim.

Fish are just birds that like swimming. One day the Olympics will let fish compete and once they have their gold medal they will join their bird brethren in the skies once more.

8. Explain thunder.

Sometimes Draco is angry.

9. Explain lightning.

How great was Azula from Avatar? Top quality character right there. This doesn’t explain where lightning comes from but go watch Avatar instead of being annoyed by that.

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10. Explain why tsunamis happen.

With our dependence on fossil fuels and garbage we are destroying the Earth. Sometimes the Earth gets to strike back. Is it fair that those people get hit when it should be the ones doing the polluting? No.  Sometimes when we’re angry we lash out at the innocent and that’s sad.

11. Explain why it snows.

The angry cloud people aren’t entirely sure what type of ammunition they should use. Really they’re just throwing everything they have at us.

12. Explain why flowers lose their leaves.

Petals are better.

13. Explain why snakes have no legs.

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14. Explain where we go when we die.

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15. Explain why volcanoes erupt.

We all get a little frustrated sometimes. The earth is under a lot of pressure and sometimes it needs to let off some steam.

16. Explains why the moon changes shape.

Ask her yourself.

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17. Explain how bees got their sting.

… Draco will not dignify that with a response…

18. Explain why droughts happen.

Emma Stone and the Wet Bandits.

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19. Explain why people are different colours.

It’s more fun that way.

20. Explain the tides.

Something about 1 scoop equaling 6 scoops.

Photography Final, Finally

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This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

 

And here we have the Photography final.

All of these photos use the technique of combining two photos of potentially the same thing to create a new unique photo. Sometimes the second picture didn’t come out and sometimes more than two pictures were used but they all stem from that idea.

 

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Xenobiology

In this photo I learned that arm hair shows up far better on light blue skin. If you ever really want to show off your arm hair painting your arm blue is recommended. Also selecting chain is hard. I used multiple layers to get the hand the right shade of blue, played with color channels a smidgen, and applied a surface blur to the background to give it a vinyl feel.

 

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Blue Sky Bay

This photo uses the wonderful combination of filters to give a two dimensional sketch effect. The sketch was then overlayed upon the original and the sky was replaced with a gradient because the sky was originally dull. The blues that came out were a very happy surprise.

 

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Sun Glass

You always have to get a sunset. There are stories of people who searched for the perfect sunset with the perfect colors for years and they can never find it. That’s because they’re all perfect; just like you. With this one the branches cut between each-other after a layer mode was applied. There was a color filter applied to this version to really bring out the pink at the bottom.

 

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Crash

This one is pretty simple. It utilizes the two pictures combined technique and not much else. The window of the red car presented an issue but it’s nothing layer masks can’t fix. The original idea was an after image of something moving fast but then the idea ghost cars popped up and that’s how it got the name “Crash”.

 

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Neptune Skies

In this photo the entire second photo was scraped except the sky.  Initially this gave a fog which was interesting but not really good enough. This lead to more layer modes and inversion. You end up with a pinkish purple forest, a dank 1840’s ocean looking sky, and an annoying road scarp. The purple was refined to avoid the accusation that this was just a simple inversion. The road was harder to fix but the tree lines contrast against the sky presented the idea to take a copy of the road, stutter it, then desaturated it, and that worked.

 

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Project Yourself

This is where the initial idea came from. An advertisement had a person’s face projected onto their hands via projectors.  The thought “How can that be done without projectors” went forward and you get the same technique you use to make people levitate. The background is handmade along with a vignette. The face was done with layer masks, a layer mode (for the glow) and a sketch like filter. The main picture was made slightly transparent to enhance the darkness.

 

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Spin Chicken

This was a top that was spinning while I took the picture. I had to really make it two dimensional because the edges looked weird but now it looks like fire so that’s fine.

 

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Eye of the Kitty Cat

Layer modes can really bring out colors. After applying the second photo the eye was brought out while the fur remained the same. An iris blur was then used and you get a very Smaug-like eye.

 

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Beats Paper

This is just a simple one photo on top of the other but with a layer mask on the handles so that only the blades are affected.

 

 

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The Light Heads Toward You

Here we have the inside of a toilet paper roll looking at a window. The second photo was rotated because spirals are all the rage and the window lines didn’t sync up. The edges were burned and the window was made more golden with filters.

 

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I Walk Beside Myself

This guy is cool. Without even touching the photo you know this guy just looks cool. The guitar, the shoes, the way he hid his face with his hat, It all works. Sadly the second photo had a problem and only the part above was really feasible. Lucky for everyone this guy is cool and it didn’t take more than a little layer mode to satisfy.

 

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Requesting Cuddles

It was hard to get the lighting right but it turns out a tiny spotlight plus a version with the lights on was all it took. The faces still ended up a little dark but the smallest of dodges fixed that immediately. The floor ended up being too bright so it was burned along with the edges.

Stabby Stabby and Photo Announcement

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Draco wanted to write about a subject but it sadly didn’t pan out. Not only that, Draco had to relocate the tower of his computer a while ago and this relocated where the headphones connect. Basically Draco’s ripped the headphones from thy ears twice while writing this paragraph. To be more accurate the second time was when Draco typed “Not” in sentence two. On the bright side while exploring a new idea Draco found out some studio is going to make a Graceling movie. Back to the negatives; the movie will probably be awful and autocorrect keeps changing Graceling to Graveling so let’s stop talking about it. These are trying times.

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By Red-Ruby-Butterfly.

So in a few days Draco has to have his photography final in and YOU, the reader, will get to see it live! That’s right; Draco gets to turn it in via a gallery on WordPress therefore you’ll get it in your eyes the minute it’s in. Is that not big news in your opinion? Well Draco’s other idea was a list of Draco’s top female characters for International Women’s Day but it’s to hard to decide. Let’s just say they’re all great and do that list some other time.  Katsa from Graceling was probably going on that list so you can now understand the thought process of the first paragraph. Congrats.

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DRACO! BLAG! DRACO! BLAG! and Emotional Connection

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Superhot

Batter Up!

Draco was looking at SUPERHOT. Aside from listen to a machine scream SUPER and HOT simulator it’s a game that’s all bullet-timey but the story did a thing that Draco doesn’t like. Don’t get Draco wrong, it’s cool. It’s basically fighting puzzles. While looking at Soma, another game that went with this same story element, Draco dismissed it as just bad writing but apparently it’s a trope of some sort. It’s not actually listed on TvTropes but it definitely occurs a lot. It’s a problem that is sorta worrying. The problem here is that for some reason the writer just assumes you’ll care about their characters. In Soma at some point(This is going off the description another person gave so ya know, grain of salt) they just present you with “the last person in the world” and they are hooked up to life support. The person then asks you to unplug them. After you have done so the game taunts you for caring and being so sad. It’s kinda reminiscent of that part in Force Unleashed where the random boss no one cared about because they were just introduced revealed she could turn in to the main character’s love interest. Surely the main character was a little broken up about attacking his love interest but ultimately he and the person controlling him know it’s fake. There you could at least feel empathy because he was a faced protagonist. In games like Soma and SUPERHOT you don’t get a face. You get surrealist nonsense that tries to hint at a deeper meaning of meaninglessness. In SUPERHOT the story is a little better(spoilers); the game is supposed to be about killing red guys but then the red guys are people blah blah blah. Then they go down a weird Stanley Parable route of not having a choice but without the humor and innovation. The cool bullet time stuff would make up for that if after doing stuff it wouldn’t repeatedly scream “SUPER! HOT! SUPER! HOT!”. They went the “artistic” route probably to save money but there isn’t really anything that connects you to anything. It’s super sterile and pointless and that feels lazy. Undertale and Life is Strange did it better. They may pull at heartstrings but they set it up and make it reasonable first. They make you care about the characters or at least feel something. To help you feel how Draco feels, Draco has written a similar scenario to the ones in Soma and SUPERHOT.


 

“Hello. Welcome to Empty Room. Here, You can kick a ball. To welcome you to Empty Room, here, kick this ball.”

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“Thank you for kicking the ball.

It’s too bad you’re so STUPID!

MUHUHUHUHUHUHUHA!

YOU COULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED THAT THIS BALL WAS ACTUALLY…

YOUR BEST FRIEND!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

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“THEY EVEN HAD A MOHAWK! LOOK HOW COOL THEY ARE! AND YOU KICKED THEM! TRULY YOU ARE A PUPPET TO THE ESTABLISHMENT! YOU SHOULD FEEL SO BAD FOR YOUR FRIEND RIGHT NOW! THEY HAVE FREE WILL WHILE YOU GET TO SUFFER IN A PIT OF FILTH ALONG WITH THE OTHER INSECTS! WRITHE ABOUT FOR THERE IS NO HOPE!!!!!!!!”

“Thank you for writhing.”

 

Draco just realized there is a problem here. With Draco’s masterful writing you probably do feel bad. Way too much effort was put into this bit. Please try to imagine this but worse. Please understand that the ball was actually just a drawing and not your best friend… Well unless you want it to be… This ball forgives you for kicking it and would like to stay best friends.–

 

OK let’s talk about that. Draco started getting attached to a drawing meant to not be attached to. If you can’t get Draco attached to your character that’s a bad sign. Draco just almost cried about some unknown reader being sad about a drawing not being their best friend… Like come on, son. Get to character developing. It’s easier than you think. Also don’t make your game scream the same two words repeatedly just to make it seem weird. If Guardians of the Galaxy was just 1 hour of movie and the rest was Groot screaming I am Groot, people would have walked out.

 

 

 

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We did some science!

UPDATE: Draco ran this example(without good writing or added emotional flavor) by the wonderful RJCody and after going through the scenario all he felt was confusion. No sadness, no attachment, nothing. The theory is sound. This type of storytelling does not elicit emotional connection.

Love, Life Is Even Stranger, AnimePop, and Twintails MKII: Neptune’s Boogaloo

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This is a bit hard. Draco is sad. Draco’s first cat Maisy the Cat went to cat heaven or just regular heaven(Not an expert on cat afterlife or religion in any way(If you are one, comment down below.)). Draco’s other cat i depressed, it’s all just really sad. The problem is Draco really loved Maisy, and she deserves the same amount of blagging that beloved dog who must go unnamed because of pass protection reasons got. The problem is Draco already tweeted, tumblr’d and facebooked  about it and received so much sympathy. It’s really heartwarming stuff Draco will tell you that much. Draco doesn’t want to sound like a sniveling whiner but She also needs what is owed to her. She taught Draco how to glare at annoying humans. It’s a skill Draco utilizes to this day. Everything about loyalty and bonds of friendship, that came from Maisy(and Naruto but that doesn’t matter right now( Believe it!!!!!!)). She loved Draco and Draco loved her. It was honestly harder to deal with her dying then her being dead. Now she isn’t in pain and Draco is doing better. Now she can glare down upon all the people in the world. Cats probably love that.

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Plenty of positive things happened too. Draco found these things a few days ago.

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Little Funko Pop anime blind boxes. Upon further consideration Draco should have done a YouTube video and got a million views since people love seeing people open boxes for some reason. The one in the middle, Soul, is the highest quality. The others have pretty bad hair at the seam and Kirito’s swords are bent(On the right. On the left is Ciel, looking all dapper with his manshorts and cane).

Then Draco received these from the lovely people Draco refers to as mom and dad as a little Valentines gift( The sweethearts they are❤ )

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Everything except the Fairy Tail ones(Oh well Rave Master was better anyway) and a few Attack on Titan ones that weren’t really necessary. They picked up the rest of the case. How great is that? “Pretty great”, you say; well that’s an understatement but ok. Asuna(Orange haired girl in white and red on the right) has poorly designed feet, Kayaba(Guy with big cross shield)  has a lip at the chin for some weird reason, and Sebastian(Man with towel( Ya not sure why either) on the left) is a bit to toothy to truly represent his character but overall good.

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Next Draco’s order came in.

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That soundtrack cover alone was worth buying. The artbook is hard to open with risking a tear but still it’s nice. This all would have been nicer if they’d ordered a PC version but oh well Draco really just wanted the soundtrack. The last song, “Max & Chloe” is having problems but the rest is wonderful. Life Is Strange is such a happy, positive, optimistic game that it’s music has really helped Draco feel better today.

Draco made demands in a previous post. We aren’t there yet but we’re getting there.

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You can download it for your XCOM 2’s here.

It’s not perfect twintails because it is very Hatsune Miku specific but the original spaceships were a good step towards the personal ones we are getting closer to. Also we have this. Neptune is one of Draco’s favorite characters and one of the few you can kind of make in XCOM 2. She very quickly became the main character of this current XCOM run and if she had her actual voice that would make it better. Now if only mods actually worked on steamos. Oh well! If Draco ever gets a PC from this decade Draco can Nep it up all Nep long.

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Draco needs flash drives attached to his clothing…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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