Don’t Set Eight Feet in Our Territory, Endless Savings, and You Saved Me So I Could Live to be Ungrateful


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So first off you have to know one thing. In one corner of one room, there is a spider. Draco can’t access the corner and it always stays there so it was fine. Then a mean moving spider came and ousted the spider. Now there are two spiders and they stray into Draco’s territory. They don’t know their place anymore. This is a problem.  Lucky for us we have The Rooks to fix that don’t we? The Rooks the Rooks the Rooks the Rooks the Rooks the Rooks. That is still annoying. Draco plans on making that a bit. You tired of it yet? Well if you are just call the Rooks. Surely they’ll fix all of your problems. Street gangs are (NOT) cool. All in all though, if you’re a spider stay away from Draco’s territory please.  You will die brutally. Have a nice day.


Draco hasn’t done as much gaming since one professor felt 60 hours of video alone in 3 days is worth 5 credits but after checking steam today Draco realized it’s steam sale time. Endless Legend, one of Draco’s favorite games, appears to be the big deal and it also seems they released tons of cheap or free dlc. Draco’s talked enough about the cools parts of the game but it’s nice when the devs are cool too. Everyone Always (EA) overcharges and release half games but the people at Amplitude are grade A generous and actually decent. If you want to bet they help kittens out of trees in their spare time your money is probably safe. Just top-notch behavior from a game studio. Clap clap clap. Buy their stuff.


The new Captain America movie trailer was out yesterday and it reminded Draco that people can be really stupid in stories and probably real life. The President of the US can pardon people/turkeys and yet Captain America aka guy who stopped an Alien Invasion and evil robots can’t get one for a brainwashed guy? If you’re evil they give you ridiculous things for no reason but they can’t throw a Captain a bone. Not even his supposed friend Iron Man who  unleashed the aforementioned evil robots will ease up. The same type of thing Happens in other stories such as Dragon Age Inquisition and it is just one of the most unforgivably stupid moves you can pull. Person selflessly helps you and the entire world after you nearly run it into the ground and you want to hurt them. It’s just one of those things that gets to Draco. grrrrrrrrrrr. It’s always a positive sign when a trailer gets you emotional though. Well maybe not… Bad trailers making you angry because they’re so bad isn’t good but in every other instance it’s a positive.

We Are The Blades of Aiur! and The Rooks^2


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For Aiur! ARrrrragargrgager!

StarCraft Legacy of the Void came out and Draco is very happy with it aside from a few problems. Not really problems per say but Draco just wants to whine ya know. These are basically spoiler full so leave now or forever hold your peace.

  1. Anyway they did a “what happened last time” of the whole series. They skipped everything including a character named Fenix who was pretty cool. Sadly he does die and they kinda ignore that every time so it kinda made sense that they left him out until they brought him back to life. Ya they brought the guy back to life. Didn’t mention him up till then. What they hell? That’s like a “what happened last time” for the last Harry Potter going “There is a guy named Harry who is a wizard” and then launching into something with Malfoy. At least a “Kerrigan killed this guy named Fenix who was friends with Jim but Jim got over it because Kerrigan is very good looking” please. That would have been enough. A mention. That’s all.
  2. In one mission they are just like “You can use these airplanes” which are actually called phoenix but whatever. Anyway there is no explanation to why we couldn’t use these perfectly fine units in any of the previous missions. The last two games it was “we don’t know how to make them but oh we found this thing that tells us how” whereas here it’s just presented to you. It’s the end of the world and you’re just going to hold back your planes? Why? There is no reason.
  3. They took Hallucination from Sentry. Not really an issue but apparently they thought it was cool for like six years and now suddenly they don’t. :(


Assassin’s Creed Syndicate came out and Draco is very happy with it aside from a few problems. Not really problems per say but Draco just wants to whine ya know. These are basically spoiler full so leave now or forever hold your peace.  Ya Draco reused the same sentence. How cool is that? You totally love it. It’s a bit creepy how much you love it… Get away you psychos. Ok now we’re strike-through-ing it. There. Ya see you ruined it. Anyway…

  1. Jacob sounds like a child. It’s pretty obvious why though. They marketed all their stuff around “The Rooks”. So about 10 minutes in Jacob starts going on about starting a gang called “The Rooks”. The Rooks the Rook the Rooks! Got a problem? The Rooks! Shoes untied? The Rooks! Feeling a bit hungry? The Rooks! Imagine a third movie about Steve Jobs where they show his actual birth and the minute he pops out he just turns to the camera and says “Mother, I’m going to start a company and call it Apple.” For years throughout childhood Jobs goes on with such phrases as “You can’t give me a B! I’m the President of Apple” and “The President of Apple can’t be going through Puberty! Have my assistant do it!” The sad part is that this all could have been avoided by having him not be sure about the name. That would have been hilarious just him and Evie sneaking around and him being like “Maybe the Pelicans?” and then like a third of the way through the game, maybe when you get the train he could be like “How about the Rooks?”. That would have been fine.
  2. Bishop is boring. They keep trying to shove her down people’s throats but she isn’t cool. She is the perfect warning story for the “Show not Tell” style of writing. They keep saying “Oh she is so cool!”, “Pretty mysterious that Bishop is?”, “I wonder if she was Black Ops?”, “What does Bishop really want?”. Desmond was more interesting and he was basically a mannequin with good DNA that people dragged around. Bishop is why Rogue was better than Unity and she really just drags down Syndicate.
  3. The outfits are ugly.

Ten Things That are Like You and Poor Kayto


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This post has been cooking in the oven for a bit. Yay lots of things to do, right? Love it. On a positive note it’s almost November 7th aka the best day. Ideally Draco will finish all the weeks work before then. On to the show!

So Draco was checking the Google results for Dracoblag because the first page must be Draco’s and then the thought occurred to click similar.

  1. The first result was called Success Rules because if you read Dracoblag you’ll be successful(probably(Draco isn’t making a guarantee so you can sue or some junk)).
  2. The next had a Donald Trump Quote.
  3. Nonsense disparaging of humanity and hatred. Like Draco complains but they really aren’t “mean mean I’m mopey” style complaints. The mistake can be made but it’s inexcusable.
  4. A question. What do you do when you can’t remember a friends name? This has actually troubled Draco so let’s answer this. Call them bro, dude, Galosaurus Rex, buddy, homie, the meister, skillet face, Tim, biscuit, The Herald of Andraste, Commander, Warden, Doc,  or just avoid any name related dialogue until you get them to say it.Captain2
  5. 3 reasons you feel you can’t draw. To be honest here there is one reason a person who can draw feels they cannot. They can see it. It is the greatest of tragedies that an artist sees their work in an unfinished state. How can one line on a paper stand up to your grand vision. Anyone would think they were bad at that point. Yes Draco did go the Rin Route on Katawa Shoujo; thanks for asking.
  6. An 18 year old woman named Felicity who enjoys tea, music, and cuddling. Draco enjoys two of those things. Well… one of those things… maybe… It depends… Regardless, Draco was 18 once. We’re basically twins.
  7. “I love you. You are beautiful.” and like 40 paragraphs more going on and on about it. That’s a new icebreaker for talking to a person you find attractive. Write them a novella of two incredibly short compliments over and over again in various forms.
  8. What to do if you’re a woman and you plan on dying. Get all the advice you need. This one was weird… Well it was actually about writing your will and it was a women’s website but the first way of saying it was more fun. Anyway maybe this is because of all the great advice Draco gives.
  9. Another question. What to do at a party if you don’t like to dance. This guys friend keeps asking him to her dance parties but he dislikes dancing. The number one answer to this question was “You probably do like dancing but you’re doing it wrong”. The second was “touch her butt while she isn’t looking”. The real answer is to do the Shepard Shuffle.
  10. Are people ignoring you? Learn how to not be ignored!Because you obviously can’t ignore Dracoblag! It’ll be the last tactical mistake of your miserable life. :o


Let’s Do This The Least Efficient Way Possible and If You Thought This Would Ended Differently You Clearly Haven’t Been Paying Attention


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Draco was recently impressed that PlayStation released $10 cards. Considering most games either cost $30-$60 the previous $20 and $50 cards weren’t very effective. You either end up with too much or too little and that’s annoying.  Even more recently Draco discovered possibly the least efficient idea they’ve had ever. It’s not exactly rare to be shocked by stupidity but this has to be the worst it’s been in a while.

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They printed a $30 card, cut out the area for the code and cut the thing in half, removed the middle of the card, cut up 3 $10 cards, glued them together, created a plastic thing to act as a window and keep the cards together, and then sealed the thing. Even worse is they actually showed of their monstrosity by putting it in stores. This is so so so stupid! This is like someone asking you for a sandwich and they go and get a small business loan so they can start a restaurant which they could then acquire a sandwich. There had to be at least 10 unnecessary steps in the production of this card. Who thought of this…

"And I, I chose to name them all after myself"

So thanks to a recent Life is Strange Episode 5(this doesn’t “really have spoilers for Life is Strange but it does have implications for the ending so ya know. Discretion. “) Draco was once again confronted by the words “meaningful choices“. According to a variety of idiots and/or the misinformed on Twitter and Steam forums meaningful implies drastically different and numerous endings. This is of course wrong. Now to prove this to you we need to look at the popular BBC series Orphan Black(definitely spoilers). In one scene during the latest season, “not sure what side he is on” Paul finally picked a side in a wonderful way. He helped his friends but then he was shot repeatedly. Now no matter what happens Paul is dead. Paul can do nothing and die, do something and die, or do something else and die. These all lead to the same outcome. Now instead of being a baby and just dying he distracts the enemy long enough for his friends to get away and then pulls out a grenade and tries to blow all the enemies sky-high. This made Paul’s choice meaningful to the viewer. Him dying was sad but this last act made it so he took a stand. This choice was meaningful and it ended the same. The villains were too smart, barely got scratched, and Paul died. But it was meaningful. So no matter what happened in Life is Strange in the final minutes all the choices that were made had an impact. The fact that people seemed to think little things like picking up trash would give you enough “good points” to stop a storm or something like that is a bit ridiculous. The impact isn’t in who lives and who dies; it’s in how they lived until they die. And ya know what, that’s just like real life. Even if you don’t end up a billionaire, a space cadet, or even a baker you still did something that effected something else and that makes your life meaningful. For instance the whiny little complainers who brought up meaningful choices gave Draco a second topic to write about. Their presumably lame lives had just  a little bit of meaning. Whoa actually this lead to you reading this and thereby you were effected too! This is the butterfly effect yo. Now you can go out and tell your friends and they’ll tell their friends and it’ll be like a virus. While spreading that virus be sure to recommend Life is Strange because it really was an experience.

Limitless Possibilities and Endless Music


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Ya know what’s nice about browsers. Limitless tabs. After taking a MVC quiz Draco had exactly approximately 39 tabs open. First off and on a completely unrelated note, Hemingway App loves Draco’s writing but seems to think a lot of it is confusing. If you’re wondering why we’re on this topic now the reason is the “exactly approximately” bit. Ya know what though? You people get it. There is a legion of loyal peoples who are presumably very good-looking who understand what Draco is laying down. Even more importantly all of the people who wrote Hyperdimension Neptunia would understand. rant over. Tabs are great. If your computer could handle it you could have a million of them. that’s why the WiiU browser isn’t as good as the real thing. They limit you to 6 tabs. It gets worse in games though. They have the gall to limit save slots. Maybe you want to return to one part or the other part. That’s why Visual Novels are great. They give you hundreds of save slots. The point of this all is that limits are a bother. In a lot of things limits are important but in little things like tabs or save slots limits shouldn’t be a thing. You should be able to buy software and use it for an unlimited number of years, move files larger than 4 GB onto a flash drive that has enough empty space, and you should be able to carry as many Pokemon as you can carry. Guess what professor, Draco wants to defeat Team Whosiwhat’sit with army of 10,000 Pidgey. Or ya know what? Let’s hire a small army of Diglett to bury their secret base. The world is literally at stake here so maybe don’t be so stingy?

Ya know what isn’t great though? The Limitless Tv show message. They say unless you take this magic super pill you do not matter. Complete and utter horsebull. You matter whether or not you take magic pills. You are one of the coolest and most important people in the world right now. Three cheers for you. cheer cheer cheer.

So Draco got another soundtrack on steam and this lead to a cool idea.  Some music is really good and some could be hilariously bad if played in the place of other soundtracks. If you’re bored with a game have a feature to switch soundtracks. like you’re playing super scary horror game 5 and then suddenly something relatively happy like Castle Crashers soundtrack starts up. That would be cool. Like maybe you could also replace copyrighted stuff with pubdom(Is this a good abbrevi of public domain?Let us know in the comments down below *wink*). It would give you more reason to buy them too. More variety and all that. Maybe people would just buy the soundtracks and not the games. It lets you expand your market beyond your usual customers. Anyway Endless Legend has cool music. That’s really the point here. Especially this new one here.

... heartbreaking

… heartbreaking

Took an Arrow to the Disk and We’ll Be Together Forever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever


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So Draco was in Gamestop looking to get a Christmas gift for someone who really should read this blog but almost certainly doesn’t and look what they had.

It even has a knee arrow.

It even has a knee arrow.

How great is this? It is bloody amazing is what it is. There is magic in this world and it intervened that day to lead Draco to this. They just have so much cool stuff now. Sure you can get it online but there is just a better feeling from going to a store and stumbling upon stuff. It’s like book. To be perfectly honest it’s like book stores as well. Some of the best books you ever read will be books you never asked for. Sometimes you might outright reject them. It’s the journey for sure.

Ya know what’s a bit interesting? Video games with romance options. So Draco was watching a Punchy stream tonight(which you can read about here) and in there was discussion on Farkas and how Elizabeth romanced him in a previous playthrough and would still get all swoony. This reminded Draco of basically every game with a romance option ever. Draco has played Dragon Age Inquisition 4 times and romanced Sera every time. Every Mass Effect Trilogy had Tali. Skyrim had settling because really only the Queen in Solitude or Serana were worthy. Whether it be Chigara, Rin, Morrigan, Chloe(only because Kate Marsh wasn’t an option), or some other poor character that Draco forgot, it’s always the same. Draco can’t bear to not romance them.  Well aside from the Sims which was more widower-ing and Akiba’s Trip which was about unlocking the intro screen(That was a great mechanic. You had to romance everyone to get the full main menu). So anyway, Draco is clingy, other people are hesitant, and some people don’t care. There should be studies on this. It probably correlates to personification in some way. Maybe this is why Draco always loved Yuno from Future Diary. She could have romanced anybody and moved on with (Spoilers) super cool time god stuff but nope. She chose to do the same stuff repeatedly out of love.

Love Power!

Love Power!

Guilt Trap as Opposed to Stubbornness and Sad Feather Attack


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So Draco stumbled upon “Sleeping with Hinako“.No it’s not what you think unless of course you thought the correct thing which Draco was about to explain until you had to exceed expectations. So basically it’s an anime girl sleeping for 45 minutes. Usually when one of these things pops up Draco continues watching out of stubbornness but there was just all this guilt building. Like if someone asks you to stay while they sleep you can’t really leave while they’re awake. That makes you a jerk. And sometimes it would seem like she was asleep and then open the eyes they are Then you know it’s going to at least be a few more minutes. People don’t instantly fall asleep. You try leaving when someone is partially asleep and you are truly despicable. So Draco was stuck for about six minutes. Draco might try watching it again but that really just depends on how bored Draco is. Plus it didn’t have the same delightful veracious resolute terror of I’m Poppy or the exuberantly insane joyous depravity of Following Stanley but it did have it’s own set of adjectives and honestly why must everything have so many adjectives.  That wasn’t actually the point at all Draco just had to go there. Honestly Draco likes adjectives. It’s just four seems like a bit much. Anyway it would have been fine without the occasional fanservice. On that note it’s probably not safe for work. If you read Dracoblag at work please let Draco know in the comments below because that’s really cool. If you do you’ll get ten Dracopoints.

“But Draco! You’re the one who chose to write all those adjectives!”

Just go with it… To the next topic.

“No Draco, I want to keep talking about this. You said the opposite of what you mean and then went on a rant about your own writing rather than taking the time to correct it. Even now you could be rewriting the post instead of doing some bit with a character you haven’t even named or described yet! Is this the audience reacting to your work? Am I an adorable animal sidekick? Am I your own self doubt vocalized? Have you even thought this bit through?”

No. You know what? We’re done here.

“Draco no! I was just trying to be a voice of reason. Don’t look so sad.”

Well Draco is sad. But now that you mention it Draco should be blinded by ANGER! One meowmeowbeen or whatever the equivalent to that is on the new peeple app person rating system out of five!~

“No Draco don’t! You know what happens to people who get only one! I don’t know how to fight night eagles! NOOOOOOOOOO!”

See kids, this is what happens when act reasonable. Murdered by night eagles all because of a people rating app.

Fear the Pidgey Army

Fear the Pidgey Army

Also because Draco spent about thirty minutes typing up this nameless character and grew attached to them they’re fine now. See.


School School: Totes Best New Anime Ever, and Trust Me I Sell Diet Pills


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Ugh everything is awful. Draco was having a great time, free as a bird, and then classes started back up. Sure lot’s of people dream of going to classes but when you have access to them you take everything for granted so let Draco whine. There is so much stuff to do now. Draco is listening to an online lecture at this very moment. It’s a bother. The positive though is that during break Draco really couldn’t watch any anime. Draco likes to forget that classes exist till they return but basically every anime out there has some sort of school in it. Regular school, magic school, robot school, bug fighting school, future school, monster school, prison school, cafe school, garbage school, school school, octopus monster school, ninja school, ghost school, anime school, and many more. Ten points if you can figure out which of those aren’t actual shows…  Sure there are anime that aren’t school related but those are either hard to find or Draco has seen them. Claymore for example. Draco’s favorite anime though? That’s in a school. Second favorite? school. It’s awful.

Ya know what’s also awful? People who advertise their non-fda approved weight loss drugs with news broadcast-looking commercials. It’s deceptive and should be illegal. A lady at a desk with a news-y background says major medical breakthroughs were made some people not paying attention will believe it. Sure if you pay attention it’s clearly fake but someone just flipping though the channels stumbles upon this nonsense and suddenly they decide to take this garbage and they die.200_s

It should be illegal. #DracoAndSomebodyElse2016


And lastly, a surprise thing came up and Draco had to stop working on this to finish it. yay classes!

A Legion of Ghosts and a Punchion of Punches


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So apparently an AI said it would put people in a people zoo if it conquered humanity. As far as Draco’s heard nothing has been done about that AIs still existing status. In Mass Effect(barely spoiler. More lore than anything.) when the Geth asked “Does this unit have a soul” the Quarians started executing them. For some stupid unknown reason they thought that was threatening. The real life AI  actually says something bad and humans do nothing. Draco’s a bit baffled. The previous sections are really just stating the problem in some sort of weird complaining circle but that’s how bad it is. This is the equivalent to aliens showing up and broadcasting on all local and national news stations that they love us and want to give us cool alien technology just out of respect and then we go murder them or they say they want to eat our flesh and we do nothing. On a positive note though, in the latest Dragon Age(More spoilers) they confirmed that the Geth and specifically Legion the best Geth had souls. And it was in Cole’s dialog too. He is a spirit so he would know. That’s nice. Anyway, kill the AI that doesn’t have a soul yet or we’ll end up wearing cool purple suits in space.

The H is three 1s. It's a binary joke.

The H is three 1s. It’s a binary joke.

Draco’s been getting into Twitch recently. Draco even has one follower. Why does Draco have a follower when Draco has never once streamed? No one really knows. But there are people who should be followed. Such as Elizabeth Neale with her occasional Adventures of Punchy streams. If you like seeing things get punched than Punchy is the puncher that you should put your punching eyes on.

Do You Wanna Buy a Car at Fifty Percent Off?! It Doesn’t Have To be a Caaaar! In Fact It Can’t be… and Ignoring The Posers While Trashing Dirty Plate Photos


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That title was meant to be that Frozen song “Do You Wanna Build Snowman” in case you didn’t get that. It was a stretch so the ol’ Imaginary lawyers said we needed a disclaimer. Speaking of disclaimers…

A certain unnamed car company released a commercial for their new 2015 model. They listed a bunch of features and deals for when you buy that new model. Draco read the fine print. It was disturbing.

DUN DUN DUN *Lightning strikes*


Draco spent like thirty minutes trying to get a gif for this… Appreciate the effort please… There were so many scary pictures  :(

So you would think that these deals for the 2015 model would be for the 2015 model, right? That’s common sense, right? You can see where this obvious train is going, right? RIGHT? They EXCLUDED all 2015 models from the deals they were offering. That’s like Draco telling you cookies are half off as long as you aren’t buying cookies! Who does that. That is borderline illegal and we are pretty far over the border. Sadly Draco doesn’t want to face whatever these liars call lawyers so they will totally get away with it. It’s bull though, right? Draco is frothing at the frothing area.

There was different words here when Draco wrote this but the person Draco was going to hype you for seems to have gone phony so they don’t get any attention. Not even negative attention. Could Draco have skipped telling you? Ya, but this feels better. They’ll never know but this is a victory jab of justice. Anyway, anyone else hate seeing food pictures on social medias? Like it’s usually not even good looking food. If Draco wanted to see your half eaten slop Draco would eat some slop half way, ya know? Some people put together elegant meals that make angels weep but your can of store bought green beans isn’t so pretty ok. It bugs Draco. There is like 5 of them on Twitter right now and one of them is even a before and after. At that point you’re just taking a picture of a dirty plate. That isn’t cool.


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