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Draco keeps seeing this commercial for a new show called “How To Get Away With Murder” about some over dramatized criminology class. Here are Draco’s thoughts on the commercial in the form of an extended dialogue from the instructor played by that one lady everyone forgot about after her one successful movie.

“Welcome Class, to Criminology 100. Aka How… To… Get… Away… With… MURDER!… Aka a beginner’s class that is taken by those who want to be police officers and the like. We really wouldn’t want to give the wrong idea here. In general people don’t get away with murder and if there was a class that would teach you how it would likely be a more advanced one like Criminology 201. Even if Criminology 201 did teach you how to get away with murder and for some reason apparently every student here is interested in doing that, the police would soon realize that the class is where all these murderers are coming from and instead of getting away with it you would be hiding for the rest of your life in terrible motels with barely a penny to your name. You really should wonder what would motivate you to take a class intending to learn how to murder when you could do literally anything else to them and you would both get revenge and maybe money. You could take some sort of computer class and steal all their money or some science class to make some untraceable whosiwhat’sit– Though on that one if you did try that they’d likely realize oh it’s probably that person who was researching the stuff let’s go get them. Really it seems like your entire premise here is flawed and you’re all wasting your time. Seriously what psychopaths think ooh criminology I should go learn how to crime well. Why does everyone focus on Murder? Thievery is another crime and it’s probably easier to learn. In fact why did I say this was a get away with murder class to begin with? that seems like a pretty suspect thing to say. We all need serious help. I’m pretty confused by the plot here but I know one thing and it’s that we’re all psychopaths. Class dismissed.”

Draco has been watching ABC’s The Quest. It’s a fun show that sets modern day people in a medieval non-Game of Thrones- realism world. It’s a reality show but there’s sword fighting and most of it’s scripted so you have less people just sitting and more doing things. The thing that bothers Draco is that they basically prevent the use of Genre Savvy-ness but they do let mistakes be integrated into the story. So basically if you are smart you are not rewarded and if you are stupid you are punished. So you’re wondering why would Draco say this? Well at one point a person drops their magical piece of the magical world saving spear that they’ll have to put together in the finale and beat the evil guy and everyone yells at her. So they kept that as part of the story. Odds are the prop department has hundreds. On the other side there is this guy called like he Grand Vizier or some nonsense and he is clearly evil. He is this guy.

Grand virereSeems pretty similar to a guy made by the same people. This guy. WormTongue. Basically the same guy.

If you see this guy in really any fantasy world you don’t just sit there and let him continue being a creepy traitor. Sure it’s profiling but he also got angry when the heroes showed up, is an expert on poison but was no help during a challenge involving poison, was seen directly next to a guy with magical explosives just pointing and shouting catch him, and is just generally rude to everyone at every turn while also taking joy in people being eliminated. Even if he isn’t “The Traitor” he is a traitor in the sense that they are in an autocratic government, he is suspicious, and he is interfering with the chosen ones. In some countries it’s innocent until proven guilty but in an autocratic one it’s you looked at the wrong person you probably committed murder in a past life and need to die now. That’s how it went. Why can’t the contestants accuse him? Would that really ruin everything? Anyway aside from that the show is fun and hopefully season two will be a thing.