Tags

, , , ,

Draco no longer knows such convenience as a convenience store within walking distance or a computer that is top of the line. But inconvenience such as a top of the line computer in 2003 no longer working all the time will not hold Draco back from blogging. Admittedly it did that twice but it can’t do it forever.

One thing that has been bothering Draco is that according to Comcast Chrisley Knows Best is the best Reality show since Honey Boo Boo. Not only does Draco disagree with any attempt to call the show good but Draco also is astonished that anyone would use best and Honey Boo Boo in a sentence other than is not the best. This lead Draco to the original organization that said the disgusting phrase. Now Draco suspects it was sarcasm and Comcast didn’t understand that when they used it. This mean +1 point for humanity and +1 point for lazy people.

Draco started playing Bravely Default[EXPECT SPOILERS AND SUCH] in those precious minutes of free time. Draco must say that it does many things right. For those who don’t know about it, it basically every other turn based Japanese role-playing game but with a great story. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a medieval game where you run in circles for 60 hours and stab living jello in the face to get money. Anyway the story is great and the main character, Ringabel( The main character is actually a girl named Agnes but she is far to stoic to count.) is so well written and lovable you just want to rip him out of the game and give him a bro hug. While the writing may be great there are a few problems in the story that Draco is going to lay down for you right here, audience.

Problem 1: During the story you find this windy nation(Chicago) where all the wind has vanished and now everyone is going to die. Eventually you restore their windyness and the people of Chicago love you. Sadly Chicago’s King does not and claims that the wind is till not there even though he is wearing a cape that is literally being blown by the wind. Did no one see this? His subjects were looking directly at him but still wouldn’t believe it until the oversized windmill started up. Honestly animator person who wanted to do a flowing cape, make sure it’s story appropriate.

Problem 2:Eventually you must go to a temple of fire. This fire temple is obviously underwater(it’s in a volcano). Draco actually feels the need to state that without the parenthesis as well; it’s in a volcano. Anyway this temple was a place a worship and yet it’s at least 50 feet underground and in a volcano. Supposedly the path to the temple above ground was blocked and you have to go through this underthing but somehow you end up on the ground floor of the temple. Draco is going to assume it wasn’t just people being to lazy o make the player go through 5 flights of stairs and that the temple is actually that far underground. That opens the question, why did they build it there and how did people get there in the first place. The main entrance is clearly linked to the underthing’s tunnel so why and how did the presumably inebriated architect get a job? This means the level designer was most likely just being lazy.

Problem 3: Probably the weakest problem but they do a murder mystery bit and don’t let you actually solve anything. Sure it’s a story but Draco, Ringabel, and Shawn Spencer from Psych knew the victim was the killer. They tried to divert us but we knew that the maid had faked her own death to distract us and pick everyone off one by one. Murder Mystery Rule #1 should be always behead the body. That way you know it’s actually dead. Actually people should just behead bodies. Everyone is all on about zombie apocalypses and such well it you behead the dead they aren’t going to break your bunker down now will they? Anyway they should have made it a little more interactive. Not a necessity but it would have been a nicety.

Problem 4: This isn’t really a problem but it made Draco feel a bit bad. The open with the cutest little fairy and it stars saying “Oh no, something bad, you’ll help right? I sense you’re the nicest and would never dream of not playing right now. I’m relying on you so please help Draco. I hear you’re the best and you’re the only one who can help. I mean if you don’t want to help that’s fine but we will all die and I’d be really disappointed. I understand either way.  Have a wonderful day you wonderful person you.” Immediately in Draco felt compelled to play all the time out of sheer guilt. They actually made the plea believable but it wasn’t some desperate plea it was a plea with the knowledge that Draco is a good person and he will help you no matter what. You can’t say no to a plea like that. That’s a plea you’ll get from a best friend who’s known you forever and knows they can rely on you. It was honestly hard to quit the game because it felt like abandoning a friend in need.

Advertisements