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In Draco’s math class, Draco has learned that to answer word problems and do math you have to ignore what makes sense and just do whatever you want till it makes the answer you want. Say you have a function that isn’t a function. Normally if you got that function you’d say it wasn’t one but in Draco’s math class you ignore that and graph it anyway. Say you have to find the perimeter of a window. you’d think you’d want to find only the outside but no you just find a bunch of inside measurements.

Draco watched a documentary about William Randolph Hearst and Citizen Kane. It was like other documentaries but Draco did learn a valuable tip. You don’t have to be the first to write about something; you just have to do so in a way that makes it seem like you were. Though now Draco realizes that’s exactly what John Oliver is doing with Last Week Tonight. Maybe that’s the secret to success. In order to succeed Draco will follow their example and report to you, the reader some breaking news. According to reports it would seem that NASA has landed a man on the Moon. Sure some of you will doubt the authenticity of this report but do not fear. It was definitely not just a sound stage*wink wink*. Anyway, first man on the Moon, Christopher Columbus had to say “I have finally found India after all these years”. Sadly famed explorer was once again mistaken and India is still a mysterious country that no one has ever found. We will have to settle for the Moon and it’s cheese rather than rich abundant spices. That is all from Breaking News With Draco. Good Night. Unless you’re reading this at morning or afternoon. If you are reading at those times well good that time. If you’re reading this outside of time and space you’re amazing and should pat yourself on your back assuming that’s still possible.