So Draco’s been suffering from writer’s block along with Stardew Valley and Photoshopping. After Draco asked for suggestions Draco got some advice. “Don’t be like me” really didn’t help, “cake break” is an idea but Draco doesn’t have any cake, and the third one had potential. It was more for writing stories but we can make this work. Myths are for answering questions and Draco shall treat this like a Q & A. Now enjoy Draco telling you some stuff(Almost none of it will be true)!
1. Explain why the sun rises and sets.
The sun has been feeling really self-conscious. It dedicated itself to the art of working out and will someday be less circular.
2. Explain why the leaves change colour.
The leaves have always waited for their golden opportunity. Every year they fall by the score but soon they shall make humanity fall. Be wary of the leaves for they are masters of camouflage!
3. Explain why the sky is blue.
We don’t see UV light. The sky is purple. Just because we can’t see that it’s purpler doesn’t make it not purple.
4. Explain why we are born and why we die.
When Draco bought the Sims: Reality Edition, all of Draco’s friends scoffed and said it was a game for girls. Draco ignored them and now you all exist. Clap clap clap.
5. Explain why grass is green.
We don’t see UV light. The grass is purple-ish. Just because we can’t see that it’s purpler doesn’t make it not purple. Also apparently it’s greener on the other side.
6. Explain where human beings came from.
7. Explain why birds fly and fish swim.
Fish are just birds that like swimming. One day the Olympics will let fish compete and once they have their gold medal they will join their bird brethren in the skies once more.
8. Explain thunder.
Sometimes Draco is angry.
9. Explain lightning.
How great was Azula from Avatar? Top quality character right there. This doesn’t explain where lightning comes from but go watch Avatar instead of being annoyed by that.
10. Explain why tsunamis happen.
With our dependence on fossil fuels and garbage we are destroying the Earth. Sometimes the Earth gets to strike back. Is it fair that those people get hit when it should be the ones doing the polluting? No. Sometimes when we’re angry we lash out at the innocent and that’s sad.
11. Explain why it snows.
The angry cloud people aren’t entirely sure what type of ammunition they should use. Really they’re just throwing everything they have at us.
12. Explain why flowers lose their leaves.
Petals are better.
13. Explain why snakes have no legs.
14. Explain where we go when we die.
15. Explain why volcanoes erupt.
We all get a little frustrated sometimes. The earth is under a lot of pressure and sometimes it needs to let off some steam.
16. Explains why the moon changes shape.
Ask her yourself.
17. Explain how bees got their sting.
… Draco will not dignify that with a response…
18. Explain why droughts happen.
Emma Stone and the Wet Bandits.
19. Explain why people are different colours.
It’s more fun that way.
20. Explain the tides.
Something about 1 scoop equaling 6 scoops.