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Draco had a dream the other night.

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The Draco in this dream was slightly different in that he had opened up a stall in front of his home similar to that of a lemonade stand and it was selling “be less awful coupons” and “the future” whatever that means. We open on Draco lamenting the lack of jars available to hold all the money from selling the futures and coupons. A mysterious man who is presumably one of this Draco’s business partners suggested that instead of storing money in jars we expand our demographic and purchase all the local rest stops. By forming a monopoly we could start price gouging and make bank. Banks are good places to store money sort of and even if that is just an expression we could probably use it as temporary storage till we go shopping. Draco seems hesitant but that doesn’t matter because Draco’s bodyguards have arrived and they say that Draco must leave for Town City immediately.

A bunch of those scene transitions from The Hills where they just show people driving to pad the time play.

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We arrive at the warehouse where Draco keeps his shelf. Draco and bodyguards enter through double doors dressed to the nines and all sunglassed up. It seems our dramatic entrance is for naught till we look over to the shelf and see essentially this guy.

“Hello, Draco. I’m a rich man and I’ve decided that I want to sit on this shelf all day. You see up until a few days ago this was the only shelf in the entire city I didn’t own. Now with the new law they passed I can sit here as much as I want.”

“What!?” The bodyguards barely hold Draco back as he lunges towards rich man. To be honest though he was only and this was some abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere so really they should have just offed the sod.

“Didn’t you hear? Any shelf that doesn’t have brownies on it is now considered public property. I certainly don’t see any brownies here so it would seem I’m free to do as I please.”

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“WE will see about that” Draco pulls up his sleeve to reveal a golden bracelet. It glows and peoples hair gets swept back because magical forces or whatever.”Therese the Demon Baker( She’s from the same story as Mallory and she’s been getting a lot of character development so she totes owes Draco a favor), you are hereby summoned to this realm!”. Blinding light or whatever clouds yadda yadda Therese appears.

“Heeeeeeeeello!♪ How may I help you?” Therese grins with the type of smile you use to sell pastries at exorbitant prices.

” Ah yes. We will be needing enough brownies to cover every shelf in this city.” Evil plan energy fills Draco’s pores in anticipation for the upcoming victory against the evil rich man.

“Um ok!♪ If this is a bulk order you will need to fill out some paperwork I have some of the forms on me” Therese rummages through a tote bag flinging up a storm of paper. It is unclear why Rich Man didn’t hear them talking or notice the rustling but oh well. Baking montage time. Filling out forms! Carrying ingredients! Oh no; someone covered themselves in flour! Eggs being cracked! Stirring! A watched brownie never boils! That’s important because you aren’t supposed to boil brownies. Everything being delivered! Team High five midair freeze-frame!

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“WHAT!? How did you cover the shelves in brownies!?” Rich Man stumbled backward in shock. He attempted to balance himself on a shelf but was repelled by the power of brownies.

“It looks like you underestimated Draco’s ability to pay people to bake for him. Rookie mistake.” This Draco was smug about this for some reason.

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“WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL YOU STILL HAVE DEFEATED MY ARMY OF SUPER TINY PEOPLE!” Apparently that’s a thing Rich Man has and cares about? Who would have guessed. Also he’s doing that weird tantrum thing that rich people do on TV.

“Like borrowers?” That’s what Current Draco was going to say too. Great minds.

“Yes like borrowers… Raise an army from your villages and meet me on this field again by the end of the month!” Rich Man probably didn’t understand this was a dream and we were just going to time skip.

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Draco returned one month later with a sizable band of viking looking miniature people. Rich Man was perches on a shelf-less rafter while his legion of very roman looking borrowers. The two forces clashed near the center of the room but Draco’s forces were pushed back quickly as the legionaries made short work of the under-equipped Draconian forces. Draco was doing pretty poorly, trying to fight with tiny weapons. Draco watched the tiny nameless people dying and it was all pretty traumatic.At some point though Draco remembered something.

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Draco is appalled at how long it took this Draco to remember that Draco could crush everyone. From then on it was all about saving everyone who came to help and then handling things the unfair giant way. It really didn’t take long… The council of tiny people decided that Rich Man would be burned at the stake for his crimes and everyone celebrated with brownies. The original problem of having nowhere to put all the money was solved by Therese taking all of it.

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And that was Draco’s dream.

 

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