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Draco was going to write this post on Saturday but Orphan Black was on. Have you been watching Orphan Black, dear reader? They are ending soon so if you’re one of those people who wont watch something till it’s done well, it’s almost done. It’s fun watching shows on a weekly basis though. At least to Draco. Anyway, character creating thing! Draco foolishly did it. There was a problem that made it difficult but then Draco overcompensated for the problem and made it more difficult. It’ll make more sense when we get to it so let’s get to it!

1st: 17!

2nd: 44!

3rd: 6!

So our archetypes are:


Image result for geisha gif

This was the problem.To be an actual 100% Geisha you must have a Japan in your fictional world. Not only that, they go through a very specific training program generally from a young age. With the later issue you really have three options. You can accept that into their backstory and make something fairly generic, you can ignore it and put a geisha “skin” onto your character like Yumi from Code Lyoko till they changed her into a ninja, or you can do what Draco did. As Draco was saying earlier Draco’s fictional world doesn’t have a Japan for them to come from so Draco thought “hey, how would Draco’s fictional countries have done this?”. So to answer that, Draco needed to boil the Geisha down to her essence. As far as Draco can tell from the helpful tourism websites here and here which Draco opened in cached mode because Draco doesn’t trust, it’s not hard to sum up a Geisha. Basically she is a person who has been trained in a variety of arts  and is being paid to attend fancy parties. Essentially a courtier. Draco’s first thought was a socialite so that’s the direction Draco went.


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A survivor is alive at least most of the time. If they are dead it should only be briefly in the middle before getting revived. Apparently you heartbeat stops for a bit when you sneeze. Sometimes your heart stops for other reasons. Sometimes someone rips your heart out and hooks it into a machine to make it continue beating as you die on the floor. However it happened, all that matters is that the survivor is alive at the end… so that they can presumably die of old age. The best survivors live forever though. And it should be noted the survivor doesn’t just survive in the usual sense. The survivor never gives up on living. Given the choice between being say, brainwashed or being killed, they would choose the “punch you in the nose interrupt prompt” option and then probably be executed.

Audience Surrogate

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The Audience Surrogate is a surrogate for the audience. They exist to be projected upon or to ask questions the audience is thinking. So the Captain and the Lead Engineer are in a heated debate over Labronbrium engines vs Talmordian Collider engines but you as the viewer have no idea what either of those things are or why it even matters so helpful Ensign Percy, also ignorant and full of questions, will ask for you. This will probably get them scolded since that’s so year one microspaceology and they should know that but they’ll take the time to explain and you’ll get to find out the costs and benefits to each of these imaginary space engines and probably why each person has the opinion that they have. The Audience surrogate ranges from random strangers to the protagonist themselves.  When they are the protagonist the tend to be boring, average, and listless. For example, every( excluding a few spinoff novels ) protagonist in the Danganronpa series as seen above. They exist as a placeholder for you, the audience.

So Draco had a plan. A character who is basically an entertaining socialite, for the most part alive, has a functioning communication system, and a mind with which to form basic questions. Draco started designing one and the problem was fine. Then a new problem showed up. Draco had decided earlier to replace Japan with one of Draco’s fictional countries and base their talents and attire around their culture but off the top of Draco’s head there was at least six countries mapped out. Draco only made one of them deliberately hateable so picking wouldn’t have been easy. Notice the “wouldn’t have been”. That isn’t something you’d say if you made said decision. Draco designed SIX Geisha capable of asking questions and five of those six were alive!


Let’s do this one at a time from left to right.

We have a happy elf playing the harp. It was difficult to make her nonthreatening with all the triangles but adding more hair tends to solve all problems. The roundness of the face, hair, hips, thighs, and shoes likely assist with that.The smile didn’t even help because of the sharpened teeth but elves would definitely like triangles. Green hair was an easy choice for an elf that isn’t the typical Tolkien blond but Draco  had to think about how this elf would be a Geisha and what an elven nation would value other than talent. Then Draco decided that elves would value time. They live so long the training for an elven Geisha would take an unbelievable number of years. Instead of sandals she has ridiculously tall shoes which really doesn’t phase her because she’s had years of practice. Her waist is inhumanly small because she’s spent decades having it squeezed. Her harp was inspired by a surgery Draco heard about one time. Essentially it was a surgery to make you taller. That seems pretty elf-y right? So what they do is they break your legs and put them in a metal binding device to stretch them. That’s essentially the idea for the entire character. This poor little elf has been broken and stretch repeatedly throughout her life. Her harp is literally a made from the bones in her left arm. You’ll notice her clothing has the same texture as her hair and that’s because it’s her hair. In training she probably didn’t get any and the amount of clothing one ends up with would probably denote rank. Wearing a parka as an elven entertainer would probably denote a real superstar. This particular entertainer is probably very well regarded. As for the audience surrogate aspect, she can ask questions and people who were forced to practice an instrument as a child can probably relate to at least some of her pain.

Our second character is Socialite Witch from Witchtober 2016! Remember her?


A Socialite Witch getting totally authentic non-magical applause after saying something hilarious.

Love how WordPress saves the captions by the way. Great. So when Draco decided that the angle would be talented socialites Draco jumped on the chance to remaster her. Her design was mostly Draco wanting to do fanart of Butterscotch from Syrup and the Ultimate Sweet and realizing 3 seconds in that that’s not what she looks like at all. Now it’s even less like Butterscotch but this outfit does have the shoulder thingies. Draco doesn’t know what they’re called but Rachel from Orphan Black had one on one of the recent episodes and without it the character looks kinda plain. It’s a problem which is harder to have in chibi form. Anyway, Socialite Witch in her very limited previous characterization is a socialite and she probably thinks she’s more amusing than she is. Her magic seems to be primarily used to stroke her own ego. The flashlights are based on flashlights Draco has or had. The faces can produce sounds like laughter or ooing but like the hands she can control them. It would be weird to summon sentient hands and faces and also counterproductive. There are probably better examples of entertainers in Cohavy but Draco likes references to past works. Hey she probably had some sort of ettique lessons at some point so it works out.

Third we have a catpartygirl from the country Draco made deliberately hateable. It’s ruled by the worst types of people and many of the people living their just love to eat up the idiocy all “there are as many lights as you like” style. Luckily for everyone the tendency for the several judges who rule CynarqolastalidaBgork to make the worst decisions one could imaginably make allows for other nations to walk all over them. Their military is the equivalent of a person playing civ and only having 17 science by turn 100. They’ve been at war with pretty much everyone for a while but their most embarrassing struggle involves a completely unguarded lake they keep trying to claim but whoa drowning. Can’t figure out boats. They have to steal them usually but that’s hard without boats. Infrastructure is sparse at best despite the many prebuilt structures scattered about. Additionally this world has a very active deity presence and since Draco is essentially the deity of said world being the creator and all the people of CynarqolastalidaBgork do not live healthy or happy lives ;Consistent pestilence, heat waves, cold snaps, monster attacks, meteor showers, etc are all things that this region faces. The way their social gatherings and fancy court parties would go leans more towards forgetting as opposed to a scavenger hunt for coins and loud exclamations that Philippe is a jerk like the cool sorts of court parties.So her talents would include dancing the pain away, keeping up a carefree demeanor despite everything, and a high tolerance. Her training probably involved an iv drip. Her outfit aside from the cat keyhole bra which Draco just included because cats is designed for warm temperatures but also raves. The palette was inspired by cats and a little heterochromia was thrown in because it’s common in cats and Draco’s never done it before( maybe?). As a survivor, well anyone who wakes up in the morning from CynarqolastalidaBgork except for maybe the judges who have plot armor, the eastern bits which were conquered regions(i.e. the aren’t cursed with Draco’s wrath), or are a member of the upper middle class in the bigger cities( Because you’re neither rich enough or poor enough to murder). Anyway she can ask questions( she clearly still has a tongue despite that being a thing they’d do here) and you may relate if you feel the world is plotting against you.

Fourth we have a character who isn’t arguably a survivor. She is an Undead Cosplayer. Draco forgot about the survivor bit but technically you could say someone who died but is still alive is an even better survivor than a living person. How is she supposed to ask questions with that zipper mouth mask thing you ask? Well she’d probably mumble a lot but not all costumes are practical. Removing a limb to be authentic just shows the dedication she has for cosplay. Why is she dedicated to cosplay you ask? Well in the mostly dead land of Paxaac, you social standing is very much determined by your skill with the needle. In the Oscars of Paxaac best costume design would be considered more prestigious than best picture every time. Acting is another trait the undead value highly for some reason. As such cosplay is the highest form of art in Paxaac. Anyway despite the saturation of some of the colors and the glowing arm she still has a subdued air which Draco appreciates. The stabby stick arm gets the point across and has nice implications for whatever character it is she’s trying to portray. Maybe they’re from some sort of Victorian horror story? The dress is a bit asymmetrical but asymmetry is cooler plus it’s probably hard to get into a costume while missing an arm you’re used to so it’s defensible. The tiny waist wasn’t intentional, it just kinda happened. It does seem better than the last one though because it’s not like she needs to breathe or have functioning organs. Maybe she was snapped in half and that’s all that’s holding her together. She had a glowing eye most of the way through but it was metaphorically cut out because Draco is still figuring out how to do neon. Draco likes the one eye covered better here anyway. Maybe if you’ve worked really hard on a costume before you’d see her struggle.

Number five is really muscular. The Independent State of Crotor is all about craftsmanship. Draco figured since they love chiseling they’d want to be entertained by someone with a chiseled physique. Foremost they’re an ice sculptor but Crotor is probably big on appearance even if they don’t say it. For some unknown reason Draco just liked this design no matter what Draco did with it. There was going to be more steampunk-y aspects but everything just flowed well. Just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s bad. They probably brought that mug with them considering every other drink is in glasses. They also probably have ice powers considering their hair is light blue. Overall their demeanor seems very cool. A hard worker is probably relatable to some and they certainly aren’t dead.

Number six was thrown out for throwing knives. This isn’t that type of venue.


So you thought we were done being foolish. It turns out Draco designed FIVE(Technically four since one was a previous character but also technically Draco DID design them) characters and one host. When Draco wrote six Draco didn’t have the picture or any of the PSDs up. So rather than fixing that Draco designed the knife thrower who was originally going to be left out.

She seems to be a fairly stoic one but also kinda adorable. This time Draco did the eyelids really late so for most of the design process she had extremely wide eyes in the shocked sense not the literal sense. Her outfit is standard rouge with some added warmth since she’s from the northernmost country and a bit of a uniform twist since said country originally started as a cult. There are a lot of pouches to hold plenty of knives. The sort of armor-y bits have a target motif because after Googling knife throwing that was the only consistent thing there. The face scars and the line on the nose were in the initial rough sketch and Draco liked them so much they stayed. She and her people have plenty of experience doing things like throwing knives because they’re at war with essentially invisible ghosts. She and her kin can see them but no one else can despite there being actual ghosts in this world who people from all the nations can see. It’s kinda like finding proof of Big Foot but as you’re receiving your Nobel Prize or whatever you catch a glimpse of Bigger Foot. So while everyone can do whatever job they want in the Brairlot Community such as being a knife thrower, they also have to fight the forces of evil ghosts who the poor ignorant fools everywhere else cannot see. This probably makes her a pretty good knife thrower since ghosts are hard to hit with knives. Sword swallowing is probably another well-respected performance the Brairlot Community would be interested in. Chainsaw juggling! Fire spitting! Professional dart artist. They’re the multitasking sort.

And lastly there is the guest of honor. You might remember them from mermay.


When Draco decided there would be a counter in the foreground Draco knew there would be glasses on it. Then Draco remembered this mermaid. The outfit had to be different. Draco realized that they’re a merprincess and it’d  be strange for a princess to wear the same outfit every time unless it’s some sacred princess outfit( which the original most certainly was not). In the new more royal outfit the crest kinda looks like the USB symbol but it’s supposed to be trident-like. If anything they ripped off tridents. It also has that classic seashell bikini so it’s like traditional for mermaids. Anyway the lack of royalness in the first picture can be explained by her lack of enthusiasm towards the whole royalty thing. Like an Arya but will less sweet sweet murder killing action. So the whole scene is of a birthday celebration, the royal parents invited or payed all these characters from across the  continent in hopes of entertaining the merprincess but they’re just like “Naw. I’ll take another Sparkle Star”. Also all the drinks are from VA-11 HALL-A. Cobalt Velvets were Draco’s favorite drink but it is served in a glass that looks like it was made by Draco when they made him use the pottery wheel. Give Draco some clay and a knife and it’s fine but add a wheel and only tragedy will remain. Anyway the only thing that’s really changed design wise aside from the outfit is the hair which is slightly done up more. There was probably some effort put into attending but it most likely involved a lot of sighing. She really does have impressive tail strength though. Clap clap clap.

So compared to the other two this is both shorter and longer. Shorter for each character but longer word count wise. Also Orphan Black kept being on. And then Draco wanted all the Steam Stickers. Draco expects no complaints because this took forever and then more forever. Draco even had to update the map with names. Draco had preciously only used the colors assigned. The “blue country neighbors green” sort of thing. Then Draco was reading and some areas had to be specific cardinal directions from other areas based on previous writing. Luckily Photoshop is a magical program. The six rather than five bit was rough but manageable because they weren’t from CynarqolastalidaBgork.



The names of some of them may change because Draco came up with them spur of the moment but they probably won’t. The more you say something like this the more official it will inevitably become. Draco had more to say but Draco went to sleep mid paragraph. It was probably about how Draco hasn’t named any of the characters yet. Draco did have an idea but it’s even more work. Let’s name them now!

So for our Elven Harpist Draco has pulled up two of those elf names with meanings generators and we’ll try mixing some.

So Gannel seems to mean harp. Seems pretty reasonable. The available suffixes seem to be -iel -wen -dess -neth -gwend.

Ganneliel, maybe Ganniel.

Gannelwen just sounds silly.


Ganneth? Absolutely not.


Laer appaerently means song; we could add that in.

Gannelaeriel might have too many syllables.

Gennelaereth is fine but doesn’t really feel like HER name, ya know?

Lind means music!

Lindlaereth? Music song.

How about Laeriel? Too much like Larry? Probably.

Linddess? Draco googled it and apparently a potentially camgirl already grabbed it. Draco isn’t going to click the links and all it says is Linddess 26. Oh also something called “Sexytime Mecha Linddess”. So no.

Laerdes is someone on DeviantArt who exclusively draws elves it would seem.

How about Nelindes? It has a bit of everything and sounds ok. Draco is excited about it. Apparently in Estonian it means running. That’s fine. So that’s one down. Jeez.

Socialite Witch

Miranda comes to mind but apparently a cartoon called W.I.T.C.H had a Miranda.

The problem is thinking of names that Draco doesn’t already have some sort of negative relationship with. Also Tabitha is off the table because Draco already decided the catgirl’s name would be C-Tabitha. Late Spoiler alert.

Has Draco used Sophia for anything yet? But it needs to be all Witchy. Sohfy? Sophea? Maybe just Sophia.

For the Undead Cosplayer, Airah. It’s apparently a real name but Draco was basing it on Cosplayer sounding names. Many cosplayers have usernames that start with A for some reason.

The Ice Sculptor shall be Sculbi. So Scul as in Sculptor and bi as in Bifrost. Admittedly Bifrost is a rainbow bridge and has nothing to do with ice but it has the word frost in it so that’s good enough.

Knife Thrower is tricky.

No direct knife puns or anything.




Clovalla? No.




It needs to be cute but also a name.

Draco asked his mom. Sienna Roan. That’s the suggestion not Draco’s Mom’s name. It’s a good suggestion. We shall go with that. Knife throwers name is now Sienna Roan. Yay!!!

And lastly the merprincess is named Persimanny Yartiza Tavalih. Draco’s thought process was the feminine version of Percival but they ended up not really working out. Eventually Draco remembered persimmons exist but that’s hardly a name so Persimanny. The only result for Persimanny was a person asking if it’s too spunky. That’s perfect, ya know?

Wow that took forever. Multiple Orphan Blacks passed. The season had only just begun when Draco started this. It was like episode 2 or 3. So many characters. Kinda like Orphan Black. They sure do have lots of characters on that show.  Most of these though are just side characters at best and none of them are played by Tatiana Maslany. It was probably a good idea to fix up the map and the national lore. If you’re wondering why two of the nations didn’t get a character well you’d be wrong because there’s another secret continent slightly ofscreen so that’s three characters. Plus there is a underworld because clearly everyone has it too well and they need to suffer. That’s not even counting the secret secrets either. Anyway for the ones you knew about, well Sildurenth was mentioned previously and while it still technically exists, mostly because Crotor allows it kinda like how countries sometimes tolerate royalty even after they have no power.  As for Slimera they do have bubble parties but the star of those is the bubbles. Speaking of tolerating, Draco is getting pretty tired of autocorrect horribly changing the meaning of sentences. Grrr. Next time this needs to be shorter.

Anyway here, here, and here are the lists. Draco would like to do more of these. If you’d like to try, here are Draco’s latest roles. If Draco has the time to do this again, these will probably be the numbers used. Not even Draco knows the resulting archetype combination yet.

1st: 10!

2nd: 32!

3rd: 1…!

Since there are three now instead of two feel free to drop one if you don’t like it.